When I realized my “block”

14 Oct

Every writer will admit to “writer’s block” every once in awhile. It’s bound to happen, like it or not. Recently, however,  I realized that my “block” is  larger than being at a loss for words; it is perfectionism.

I’ll admit, I used to blame my perfectionism on the “oldest child syndrome.” You know, the “you’re the guinea pig; we didn’t know we were putting pressure on you; we expect you to live up to our  expectations because we took the most time perfecting you as a child” syndrome.

Then I came to the realization that, while in my 20s, I can no longer blame my perfectionism (the bulk of it, at least) on my childhood. Which leads me to this blog.

Taking 18 credit hours, working 10 hours a week, continuing my relationship in a positive way with my boyfriend, managing to have friends and see my family, led me to a breakdown. After all, trying to perfect a balancing act will do that to a person. So I decided to take control of my life. I decided (to learn) to let go of my self-diagnosed syndrome, perfectionism.

I quit my job. I had a (long) conversation, well, meltdown, with my boyfriend (he should win “boyfriend of the year” for dealing with my emotions-seriously). I told myself that my true friends , and family, would understand my need to shut myself in my room and relax. And I started my blog. Instead of making money, I will sit here and write about not having it (just kidding…).

So here’s my story. Finishing my education, pursuing a career… growing up. Living a simpler life, overcoming pefection, gaining happiness.

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