The crazy girl

11 Jan

I do it every semester. I tell myself I’m going to take it easy, let things go, go with the flow. Then the first day rolls around and I turn into the crazy girl who checks her planner for the seventeenth time just to make sure she wrote down all of her assignments that her professors, so lovingly, assigned on the first day, the girl who held it together at school but came home and had a slight breakdown, describing her day to her boyfriend in tears, the girl who insisted on going to the gym after a very long day of classes due to the fact that she had been eating too much chocolate to cope with the stress and felt that exercising would bring more balance into her life, rather than sleep. On days like this I sometimes think, wouldn’t it be easier to be a boy?

I mean, this (^) boy made it through engineering school in four years with no tears very minimal tears (who can blame the kid, engineering is a tough subject!), no crazy rants about the talkative kid in his history class, and definitely no whining about his anxiety of riding the city bus for the first time. Not like I am guilty of any of those things either… but see what I mean? It’s a hormonal thing, guys have it easier, I’m convinced.

For those of us who have not yet had the privilege of graduating, and for those of us who may or may not be female perfectionists, I have this theory that the first three weeks of each semester are the hardest to get through. After being on break for nearly five weeks, it’s a big adjustment to begin waking up before 8am again, while continuing to to stay up late just to get in a quick workout and some homework done before going to bed (bye bye Millionaire Matchmaker marathons), then starting the routine all over again. By the end of the third week routine will set in, but until then, be prepared for a lot of Facebook status rants from your college friends.

My perfectionism comes out (the most) during the first week of the semester. And it’s not fun. For anyone. Believe me, just ask my family or my boyfriend. Every time professors mention “loads of reading” or “research papers”, I feel my heart start to beat a little faster. It takes me a little while to remember that I’ve made it this far, and really, what’s one more semester?

I’m going to make an attempt to let go of (some of) my perfectionism this semester, after all, it is my last one to experiment with. I know that I’m not going to change overnight, but I can sure start trying.

In the mean time I have a pretty really great boy to bring some carefree living into my life. If  I can’t be the less complicated of the two genders, I will take the less complicated one to remind me that “perfection isn’t happy.” So he doesn’t use those words, but I do hear “chill out” a lot…we make a good team :).


2 Responses to “The crazy girl”

  1. Kristen @ That Hoosier Girl January 21, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

    Ohmygoodness! I can relate to your blog in so many ways!

    Changed schools after my freshman year…and again halfway through my junior year.

    Broke down in tears crying while walking home from a class as I told my dad that I didn’t think I did very well on an exam and his response?! “The world needs ditch diggers too.” He was kidding. I had some ::ahem:: issues that obviously needed worked through.

    Oldest child.

    Can’t wait to follow along on your blog!

  2. perfectionisnthappy January 22, 2011 at 8:08 am #

    I thought the same thing when I was reading your blog! It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one. Everyone always tells you how great college will be, but not very many people share their unsuccessful stories. I’m looking forward to following your blog, as well!

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