I think I’ll keep him

28 Jan

If you would’ve asked me my relationship status two years and two months ago, I would’ve said “single.” Dinner for one, fifth wheel, “it will happen when it’s meant to happen,” single. Not that it was a bad thing. I remained single for most of my freshman, sophomore, and junior years of college. I became tired of the awkwardness that came along with the dating territory, and would rather do things on my own than with a guy who wanted to woo me with his weird jokes or forever long dinner dates (ugh).

I decided to call a quits to dating the summer before my junior year, before the semester that I took a break. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t date again until I met the man I felt I was going to marry. This may sound extreme, but I was so tired of pointless first and only dates, and focusing on myself was much more appealing.

Enter best friend, home on Christmas break. Ash and I met for lunch, and it was only a matter of time before the obvious subject of “boys” came up in conversation. I told her I wasn’t seeing anyone, and being the “best” friend that she was (and is), she didn’t push the subject…right away, that is. I told her that I was focusing on myself, starting school back up in January, and content with my life. She chimed in (obviously), “My boyfriend has a single cousin; you should go on a blind date! It could be a double date!” I don’t know if she said those words exactly, but it went something like that.  Naturally, I agreed to go. Just kidding. Being the perfectionist, control freak that I am, I had never been on a blind date before. It wasn’t so natural. But I did it anyway. I was focusing on me, and I thought it was time for this play-it-safe girl to take a risk.

A few weeks later, about 2 years and 1 month ago, to be exact, I experienced my first blind (double) date. The boys were going to pick us up at my house, and I was most nervous about meeting him for the first time. However, as Ash and I got into the car, I was pleasantly surprised. She didn’t describe him to me at all, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. At that moment, all I remember was a feeling of relief, and thinking , “He’s cute!” I’m really not that shallow, it was just kind of nice to know the physical attraction was there; I was going to have to spend several more hours with this guy!

We went to dinner, then bowling, and before I knew it, five hours had already gone by. I was pretty sure, no, definitely sure, that I had surpassed the length of any other first date I had been on, and I still didn’t want it to end! I knew that had to be a good sign. This is where the double date part came in handy, because my friend suggested we go watch a movie at her boyfriend’s house. Everyone was up for it. We watched “Step Brothers,” Jordan and I talking through most of the movie (we kind of forgot there was another couple sitting with us, sorry guys), and then we continued talking when the movie was over and trashy late night TV was turned on. During “A Double Shot at Love” he asked me for my number, and we continued talking into 2:00 in the morning, after his cousin had taken Ash home. The next evening I received my first text from him, the following weekend we went on a second date, and the rest is history.

Not to say that the past 2 years have always been easy. For the first year and a half, our relationship was long distance. He was away at school, and I was attending school at home; we were lucky if we saw each other, at the most, one day, every other weekend. When he graduated in May and began working, he was put on the night shift, so the past six months of our relationship have consisted of a lot of phone calls, saving the weekends for time spent together in-person.

I have been known to complain about the distance and the weekends-only relationship ( I tend to be a little bit emotional sometimes…), but looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Unlike some of our coupled friends, Jordan and I understand what it means to have our separate lives, and our life together. He knows that I like going to Zumba on Wednesday and Saturday, and I know that he bought season tickets to the Pacers games so that he could have some guy time with his buddy. He knows not to call me on Monday nights when I’m watching “The Bachelor” with my mom and sister, and I know that he likes to play video games on Sunday afternoons. We make it a point to do a lot of things together, too, but having people associate us as one person just isn’t our goal. Brangelina? No thanks.

As I finish up school and begin looking for a job, we’re really excited for our future together. A future when we do share the same name (that has nothing to do with putting two first names together), a future that will include late night hugs instead of late night phone calls, a future that will be a new adventure for the both of us.

Until then, we’re just taking it one day at a time.

Thank God for blind dates. And taking risks. And friends named Ash.

In the words of my Aunt, “He’s a keeper.”

I think I’ll keep him.

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3 Responses to “I think I’ll keep him”

  1. bluberrypickin January 28, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    great story 🙂 thanks for sharing!

  2. Hannah January 28, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    Firstly, thank you for your response to me on Angela’s blog! And secondly, thank you for this post, too. I’m very, very, single (as in, 23 and have never had a relationship), and sometimes it’s hard to hear people say “it’ll happen when the rime is right”, but your story gives me a little bit of faith. Your happiness is wonderful!

    • perfectionisnthappy January 29, 2011 at 6:50 am #

      You are welcome, and thank you for reading! I know it’s hard to hear that, and especially annoying when it’s from a friend who’s already in a relationship. At the end of the day though, I do believe the saying’s true. I am my boyfriend’s first girlfriend, and I really like that he wasn’t ashamed of waiting until he found the right person to start a relationship. I have friends who jump into things “just because” and sometimes that has consequences. So don’t worry, you’re young, you have plenty of time to date, but right now you can focus on, and take time, for yourself!

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