I want it to be over

8 Mar

I rolled out of bed 15 minutes later than I wanted to this morning. I spent too much time eating my waffles, and not enough time on the “getting ready ” process. I was only able to dry my hair partially, which resulted in leaving the house with wet hair.  I took a new route to work, only to find out that the exit I needed was under construction. Because of this, I had to drive halfway around the city, arriving to work 20 minutes late. I called my boss to tell her where I was, only to find out that our office phone had been disconnected. Turns out, I was calling the wrong number. I’ve consumed a copious amount of chocolate, and my nails are chewed down to…nothing. Three things are standing between me and spring break. Two midterms. And anxiety.

Just the thought of taking a test turns me into a nervous wreck. I bite my nails (gross, I know), I can’t sit still, I crave chocolate, my heart beats faster, and I feel like pulling out my hair.

Even the thought of studying scares me. Overwhelms me. I’d rather write a paper. Heck, I would write three papers. But make me bring my #2 pencil, and fill out those little bubbles on the scantron, and my mind goes blank. I know it’s a mental game that my mind plays, but I cannot stand it. I should be studying right now. I need to study right now.  But I don’t even know where to start. I just want it to be over.

Only 67 more days.

Until then, bring on the chocolate.





14 Responses to “I want it to be over”

  1. Michelle March 8, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

    Aww, hang in there!! It’ll all be over sooner than you think, and then you’ll be off to enjoy spring break. Keep it up!

  2. runyogarepeat March 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Good luck! I actually prefer tests over papers, but I get overwhelmed with studying too. I hate when teachers ask questions out of no where – I just wonder where they get some of the questions cause it’s not from the notes.

  3. tknologlvr March 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm #

    Keep moving forward…it will be worth it in the end.

  4. Hollie @ Lolzthatswim(andRun) March 8, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    I just found your blog and I love it. I spent way too much time this morning reading blogs and almost missed teaching my workout class ha.

  5. Nicole @ Of Cookies & Carrots March 9, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    Just commented on your last post but I totally feel you. Since starting on antideprssants I’ve been muuuch less anxius about tests, almost to the point of not studying enough for them :/ so my anxiety hits right before the test itself, and by then Ican’t do much to ameliorate the studying situation…

    which is why I need to get my butt off the itnernet and back to studying. grr.

  6. thebalancebroad March 9, 2011 at 7:04 am #

    I know you’re probably getting this a lot, but there is a light at the end of that tunnel! Just keep telling yourself that you’re almost finished, and how your hard work WILL pay off. You are alllmost there!

    • perfectionisnthappy March 9, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

      Yes, everyone tells me that :). Thank you though, I know everyone’s probably tired of hearing me complain!

  7. Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries March 9, 2011 at 8:44 am #

    I know exactly how you feel! Anxiety is almost paralyzing, isn’t it?! If you judged my intelligence only based on my past test scores, you’d think I was dumber than a box of rocks. I psych myself out! THANK GOD grad school is more about paper writing. You’ll get through it – and it’ll feel like an elephant was just lifted off your chest 🙂

    • perfectionisnthappy March 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

      I do the same thing. Sometimes I wish I could’ve skipped undergrad and gone right to grad school for my degree, haha. I can deal with papers! I’m glad I’m not the only one 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: