I want it to be over

8 Mar

I rolled out of bed 15 minutes later than I wanted to this morning. I spent too much time eating my waffles, and not enough time on the “getting ready ” process. I was only able to dry my hair partially, which resulted in leaving the house with wet hair.  I took a new route to work, only to find out that the exit I needed was under construction. Because of this, I had to drive halfway around the city, arriving to work 20 minutes late. I called my boss to tell her where I was, only to find out that our office phone had been disconnected. Turns out, I was calling the wrong number. I’ve consumed a copious amount of chocolate, and my nails are chewed down to…nothing. Three things are standing between me and spring break. Two midterms. And anxiety.

Just the thought of taking a test turns me into a nervous wreck. I bite my nails (gross, I know), I can’t sit still, I crave chocolate, my heart beats faster, and I feel like pulling out my hair.

Even the thought of studying scares me. Overwhelms me. I’d rather write a paper. Heck, I would write three papers. But make me bring my #2 pencil, and fill out those little bubbles on the scantron, and my mind goes blank. I know it’s a mental game that my mind plays, but I cannot stand it. I should be studying right now. I need to study right now.  But I don’t even know where to start. I just want it to be over.

Only 67 more days.

Until then, bring on the chocolate.

 

 

 

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14 Responses to “I want it to be over”

  1. Michelle March 8, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

    Aww, hang in there!! It’ll all be over sooner than you think, and then you’ll be off to enjoy spring break. Keep it up!

  2. runyogarepeat March 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Good luck! I actually prefer tests over papers, but I get overwhelmed with studying too. I hate when teachers ask questions out of no where – I just wonder where they get some of the questions cause it’s not from the notes.

  3. tknologlvr March 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm #

    Keep moving forward…it will be worth it in the end.

  4. Hollie @ Lolzthatswim(andRun) March 8, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    I just found your blog and I love it. I spent way too much time this morning reading blogs and almost missed teaching my workout class ha.

  5. Nicole @ Of Cookies & Carrots March 9, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    Just commented on your last post but I totally feel you. Since starting on antideprssants I’ve been muuuch less anxius about tests, almost to the point of not studying enough for them :/ so my anxiety hits right before the test itself, and by then Ican’t do much to ameliorate the studying situation…

    which is why I need to get my butt off the itnernet and back to studying. grr.

  6. thebalancebroad March 9, 2011 at 7:04 am #

    I know you’re probably getting this a lot, but there is a light at the end of that tunnel! Just keep telling yourself that you’re almost finished, and how your hard work WILL pay off. You are alllmost there!

    • perfectionisnthappy March 9, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

      Yes, everyone tells me that :). Thank you though, I know everyone’s probably tired of hearing me complain!

  7. Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries March 9, 2011 at 8:44 am #

    I know exactly how you feel! Anxiety is almost paralyzing, isn’t it?! If you judged my intelligence only based on my past test scores, you’d think I was dumber than a box of rocks. I psych myself out! THANK GOD grad school is more about paper writing. You’ll get through it – and it’ll feel like an elephant was just lifted off your chest 🙂

    • perfectionisnthappy March 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

      I do the same thing. Sometimes I wish I could’ve skipped undergrad and gone right to grad school for my degree, haha. I can deal with papers! I’m glad I’m not the only one 🙂

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