We broke up

8 Apr

Those are terrible words to say, aren’t they?

Don’t worry, everything between Jordan and me is fine…I had to break up with someone something else. Interviewing.

I had another interview today. As I left the office building, feeling down and defeated (and it’s not even like it went poorly), I realized that something was not right. When my interviews go well and I feel upset about them, that’s probably a bad sign.

If only there were a map to guide me…

Yesterday’s guest post from Michelle really helped me put my own education and career path into perspective. My journey through college has not been a simple one, but I will be earning my Bachelor’s in Communication Studies in a month. I feel that I am where I’m supposed to be. Kind of. Can you ever be 100% sure? If so, I’m not there yet.

It’s kind of comforting to know that they made a movie about it

I have interviewed with four companies so far. They have all been in a field related to sales or human resources. Is that what I want to go into? Not really. I want to work in editorial writing and social media, something similar to my internship. Unfortunately, my internship only lasts through May, so after that I am on my own. Because of this, I began sending out my resumes left and right. I thought that any company who had the word “communications” written in their job description would be a good fit for me.

I must tell you, that strategy is not the best. I have left every interview feeling fake. And I am a terrible “faker”, so part of me thinks that they knew. When asked ,”What drew you to this position?”, I had to “bs” an answer (I thank college for teaching me that skill), and it left me feeling cheap. Why should I (basically) lie to a company, a company that is showing interest in me, when I have no passion for the position that I’m interviewing for?

I shouldn’t. So I broke up with interviewing. Well, one interview. One of the companies called me back for a second interview. At first I took the offer, then I canceled the interview. I may be kicking myself for this decision tomorrow, but right now it feels right. I know other job searchers or career-minded people might think I am crazy. A few months ago, even I would probably think I was crazy. But right now? I want to feel like I have some control of my life.

I’m tired of going from interview to interview, pressuring myself to find a job before I walk down that aisle in my way too expensive for what it is worth floor length gown (graduation gown, people, I’m not getting married 🙂). I’m tired of missing my internship, completing homework right before it’s due, and losing sleep over interviews. I’m tired of wearing the same business professional outfit over and over and over (okay, if I ever work in Corporate America, I’ll have to get over this one).

For the next three weeks, I am focusing on school. I have one month left of student life, and I don’t want to take that for granted.

I’m starting to appreciate campus more, and I like it even better in the spring 🙂

I am going to stop sending my resume to a million different companies that I have ‘just a little’ interest in. Instead, I’ll wait until after classes are over, when I can treat job searching like it’s my full time job, sending my resumes to companies that I care about, for positions that I want.

I’m learning, even in the job market right now, it’s okay to say “no, thank you.”

I’m not going to settle :).

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8 Responses to “We broke up”

  1. Michelle April 8, 2011 at 8:25 am #

    I’m proud of you for making such a difficult but important decision. I know you will find a job that excites you and feels like the right fit, and when you do, the answers to those kinds of questions will just come naturally. I’m excited for you and what’s to come!

  2. Hollie @ Lolzthatswim(andRun) April 8, 2011 at 8:41 am #

    I’m proud of you too. You will find something that makes you happy. I’m a firm believer of there is something out there for everyone no matter education level, intelligence, likes/dislikes, all that jazz.

    I’m currently trying to find my path as well.

  3. Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean April 8, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    love your attitude! good luck 🙂

  4. Jess April 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    Good outlook. I’m realizing this, too- no point in doing something you don’t actually want to do, right?

  5. Sruthi April 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    Thats a great decision, never settle for a job that you don’t like you will end up being unhappy all the time. Take your time and find the right job.

  6. runyogarepeat April 8, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

    Awesome decision, but I imagine it’s kinda scary. It’s definitely best for you to enjoy your last few weeks of college, and you’ll work out your plans after that.
    I was also really glad to see you didn’t break up with your boyfriend (that’s what I thought when I saw the title!).

  7. squigglefloey April 8, 2011 at 8:51 pm #

    I feel like I should be doing the same thing — the part where you’re focusing on your last month of school. Where do you attend btw?
    I must say, I haven’t been sending out resumes left and right because I don’t exactly know what I want to be doing. So at least you have some direction — enough to know that what you were going for might not be for you!
    Great post, again!

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