Don’t rush your life away

13 Apr

For as long as I can remember, I have been rushing my life away. If I was nine, I wanted to be thirteen. If I was thirteen, I wanted to be eighteen. If I was eighteen, I wanted to be twenty-two.

Now that I am twenty-two, I want to be eighteen. While I was busy wishing my life away, life happened.

Lately I have been having weird dreams. Sad dreams. Scary dreams. There have been fires, floods, and deaths. Not exactly a “good night’s sleep.” I don’t know if it’s because I am six class days away from being done with college, or if it’s because I have been awake, over-analyzing my life into the midnight hour, every night. Either way, it’s a little discomforting.

Along with these nighttime dreams come nostalgic daydreams. I knew I was reaching my breaking point when I found myself crying in my room over Julie’s wedding posts. Reading her touching moments made me remember my own.

When did I exchange my hot pink tricycle for a two-door sports car? When did I exchange my Cookie Monster sippy cup for a flowered teacup with matching saucer? When did I leave childhood and enter adulthood?

In three weeks, I will walk across that big stage to receive my diploma.

And I’m scared.

My feelings, exactly.


13 Responses to “Don’t rush your life away”

  1. Jess April 13, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    I completely know you feel. For the first time in my life, I want everything to slow down. I feel old. Ah.

  2. Stacy DeBruyne April 13, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    I did the same. And now I’m almost 26 wondering what happened. I’m not trying to make myself older anymore. I’m just to slow down, and get my life in order, so I can live to the fullest!

  3. Hollie @ Lolzthatswim(andRun) April 13, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    I agree. I turn 21 in a few months and I’m not all that excited. I’m not sure if I’m ready to grow up and be a “big girl.”

  4. yourdailygrace April 14, 2011 at 7:48 am #

    Agreed. This song made my cry the first time I heard it. I always wanted to be older but I also had moments as I was growing up where I would realize I was getting older and be like wait can I pause time right now. I think I was an odd child to even have that feeling. When I was interviewing for my internships I realized that in a year I’d probably be interviewing for real jobs and it was honestly terrifying. I love all the fun things in life and I am just so worried about what it will be like when there is no summer to look forward to and I work everyday! So now that I haven’t made you feel any better at all I’ll say that I am still on my mission to celebrate everything and you should be too:)

    • Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy April 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm #

      It’s nice hearing your thoughts, and knowing that someone else can relate :). It is scary…but you’re’s part of life and we have to make the most of it.

  5. Cait April 14, 2011 at 7:53 am #

    omg this is so true girl- i really need to not rush through life but enjoy it right 🙂 xo have a great thursday girl!

  6. Michelle April 14, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Such true thoughts! With my current job, I often found myself counting down the days until my next vacation or PTO… then I realized that I was wishing my life away. Once I figured that out, I decided to take the time to enjoy each day for what it is, whether or not I have to go to work. I don’t always succeed at this, but I’ve definitely been enjoying myself much more.

    I’m sorry to hear about your dreams 😦

    • Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy April 14, 2011 at 4:29 pm #

      That’s great that you were able to change your mindset..that is what I am working on. Thank you, I went to bed earlier last night and it helped!

  7. Brittany April 14, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    Sweet girl, one day at a time! Let’s live this life and enjoy each day as it comes =)

  8. jen April 15, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    What a great post! You’re smart if you can learn it now.

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