Welcome to the Real World

18 Oct

Lately I’ve been struggling. With my entrance into the “real world.”

Source

Perhaps it’s just life in general. The changes. The monotony. I’ve been debating whether to talk about it or not, but Colleen and Clare have recently shared their ups and downs of growing up, and I know that I can relate to their stories, so I’m hoping that many of you will be able to relate to mine.

I feel like I’m being petty when I state my frustrations, but I’m having a hard time dealing with the way I feel. Always anxious. Always going. Always something on my mind.

I’m only three months into my job, and I’m already feeling the monotony of a 9-5 desk job. I suppose this is to be expected when I’m pursuing a career in writing, but sitting for 8 hours is just not something I enjoy. The office is dark- my eyes always ache. I’m constantly cold. And although I enjoy writing, I’m physically uncomfortable everyday, and it affects my mental alertness.

Exhaustion is my new norm

My commute to work doesn’t help my mood. Two hours of my day are spent in the car, and though I try to enjoy my “alone time” and morning radio show, I can only take so much of it day after day. By the time I leave work I have a million things on my mind, and I’m usually trying to figure out how I’ll squeeze everything in before I go to bed.

Gym.

Dinner.

Blog/TV.

Bed.

Repeat.

Of course I have to fit laundry and cleaning somewhere in there, and I usually save my social life for the weekends.

Am I just complaining? Maybe. Am I tired? Definitely. Am I hopeless? Of course not.

Although college wasn’t always my favorite, I miss the challenge that my classes brought me. I miss walking across campus between each and every class (read: fresh air+sunlight+exercise= happy Emily). I miss having time to socialize with people face-to-face, and volunteering with my campus organization. I miss the variety that college brought to my sort of mundane lifestyle. Which makes me wonder…

Maybe a desk job isn’t for me? Maybe the 9-5 daily grind isn’t what I’m meant to do?

I’m just trying to figure out what it is that I should be doing. And it’s difficult.

But no one said growing up would be easy.

Do you know what you want to do with your life?

How do you find happiness in sometimes frustrating situations?

 

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23 Responses to “Welcome to the Real World”

  1. Jess October 18, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    I’m sorry you’ve been so tired and exhausted lately…completely understandable with that 2 hours in the car! I am with you on the figuring out what I should be doing. It’s hard, but know that it’s normal and the journey of finding it is part of the fun..even if it doesn’t always feel like it at 6 am every morning.

  2. Health Freak College Girl October 18, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

    sorry you’re so tired lately 😦 that’s no fun at all! it’s really hard to find happiness in frustrating situations not gonna lie. i basically just let myself get frustrated and then once it passes, i am better. if i try to act like i am not frustrated, then that will only make it worse

  3. Nellie October 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    I totally understand how you feel. When I got my first desk job, I was wondering every day, “I went to college……for this?” But hopefully you will get in the groove of things and find a way to make it better. For me, my music gets me through my day.

  4. thislifeissparkling October 18, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    please don’t tell me you’re thinking of going back to school…i think we all know that wouldn’t be a good idea. You’d miss Jordy too much and you’d be cranky;)

  5. peaceloveandoats October 18, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    I totally know how you feel. I’m back in my second year of law school now, but this summer I worked a 9-5 desk job (aka interned for free) and I hated it. I was cold all the time and physically uncomfortable. There was a significant change in my happiness when that job was over. I think you just need to start pursuing other jobs where you can write, but you aren’t chained to a desk all day. perhaps freelance, or a job where you can work from home or only go into the office 2-3 days a week. It’s worth a shot to look, it is your happiness after all!

  6. Julia @ girls with a stethoscope October 18, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    Hi Emily – This is my first time on your blog and I love it and your honesty! I’ve recently started my very first “big girl” job and I somites think about the things you’ve mentioned too..you gotto remember that no job is perfect and there’s always going to be struggles but if you really love what you do, that will overcome those “negative” aspects of it.

  7. runningismagical October 19, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    We all hit that wall eventually…I hit mine about 8 months into my first ‘real’ job. I found that finding another focus or hobby outside of work that you put your heart and mind into really made a difference. But I’m still figuring it out myself, so who knows?

  8. lactosefreelizzie October 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    im not sure what i wanna do with my life..i know i want to be a chef type thing tho.
    ive still got a while to figure myself out tho

  9. Sruthi October 19, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    I totally understand how you feel, I was feeling exactly the same way at my job. Believe me you will get used to it, everyone gets used to it after a while. There were times when I use to feel really depressed and wanted to quit, but I convinced myself I have to do this for a few years till I save enough money to start my own business. All I can say is stay positive and you will get through it.

  10. Grace October 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    You basically summed up everything I’ve been feeling recenlty and all I have right now is a internship 2 and half days a week. I honestly have no idea what I am going to do with my life….like zero. And it makes me very anxious too. But I have faith that everything will work out one way or another. I saw a sign the other day that said, “We plan. God laughs.” I think there might be lots of truth in it and I am trying to enjoy the little moments I get:)

  11. Mallory @ It's Only Life After All October 19, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling a little down about your job Emily 😦 It sounds like there are a lot of factors that are playing into it and not just one thing (the commute, the physical discomfort, the monotony). The only thing I can suggest is try and change the things you have control over– if you can ask for the heat to be raised, you should! Sometimes the things that feel like they can’t be changed actually can if we ask for them. Also in terms of the commute, maybe you could have Jordan make you a mixed CD for you to listen to or you could get into a book on tape (I don’t know if it’s something your’e into). Little things can sometimes make a world of difference. Sometimes I have to remind myself to see the big picture when it comes to stuff like this — it’s your first job out of college (many are still struggling to find one!) and everything is a learning experience that you will eventually benefit and grow from. If you’re really feeling hopeless, there’s no rule that says you can’t look for another job while still at this one! Browse around, and if something catches your eye that’s worth pursuing you should go for it! You have no binding to this one I assume?

  12. Bethany @ Accidental Intentions October 19, 2011 at 7:34 pm #

    Hey dude, 9-5 isn’t for everyone, and it’s cool if that’s not up your alley. You may not be in the position for a job change right now, but that’s something worth keeping in mind when you’re ready to pursue your next venture. If you don’t have to work in an environment you don’t like, you shouldn’t.

    Also, I appreciate that you “complained” or whatever in this post. I feel like there’s such a wrong thought that not being perfectly content all the time and wanting to express that is a bad thing. I cannot stand how people degrade those who are actual open and honest about their feelings and blow them off as being self-pitying or whatever. Yeah, those people exist, but it’s a whole lot healthier to let your emotions out and be honest that, yeah, everything in my life isn’t perfect instead of putting up this false “I’m so happy all the time!” front. Props to you.
    /endrant

  13. veggiegirl108 October 20, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    I work 8-5 and it can be really monotonous- I love my co-workers etc, but its just the ‘repeat..repeat…repeat’ aspect of it that gets to me! Try to change up your routine at work as much as you can daily- do things differently, listen to music with one headphone in your ear if they allow it (I can, because my boss doesnt mind, my hair hides it and I can listen to pandora at work) Go on as many walks as you can during the day. Get up and walk around every hour in the office, and spend some of your lunch break walking. I work on a university campus though so on all my breaks I try to get a lot of walking in and sunshine πŸ™‚ Im just starting to work on getting a college degree WHILE working full time because I didnt have the money or opportunity to as a child living in India/Australia- count yourself as blessed that you already have a degree πŸ˜€ And you get to write too!! Wow πŸ™‚ I did read an article on how people with commute times of an hour can be unhealthier though as they are so drained by it and dont have the time to work out- can you move closer to yoru work? That might make a difference!

    • Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy October 20, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

      I know, I am lucky to have a job :). I’m not going to move right now because this job is only temporary, but in the future, I hope to move closer to where I work!

  14. Casey October 21, 2011 at 12:43 am #

    Emily!! I started reading your blog! Girl- I know 100% what you mean about the desk job. Like I told you when I saw you at the allergy office a few months ago- my job was horrible. Working all day and having nothing to do and being intimidated, with a creeper boss… When you KNOW you’re not in the right place, you KNOW. I was miserable, depressed, and started getting panic attacks when I got up in the morning to go to work. It got so bad that I kept crying while AT work! I was so embarrassed and so mad that I made the decision to take a job that I didn’t really want. I went to the doctor and they actually diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder because the job stressed me out so much. I quit and, like you know, I’m not back at school. But I am so much happier. I missed being on campus- the social aspects of it and the freedom in my schedule. I’m not saying you should go back to school because you know what you want to do. I totally didn’t want to do anything with my Comm major so it makes sense for me to be back at school. But you’re young, you still live with your parents (right?!), you don’t have a family of your own…I think you should explore your options. So what if this job isn’t what you thought? I learned very quickly that I’m not made to sit in an office for 8 hours a day and be bored. I have to be doing something, interacting with people in some way. Like someone else said, look for another job while you’re at this one. If you aren’t desperate for money, maybe try to find an internship and get some freelance writing jobs. And who says you have to have a full time job right now anyway? If this job is stressing you out so much and making you unhappy, you could always quit the current job and find a job (like a Starbucks or something) and work that while looking for something else… Sorry for the long post. I just totally understand what you’re going through!

    • Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy October 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm #

      Thanks Casey! I like my job..it’s just the sitting at a desk for 8 hours thing that bothers me. I know this isn’t permanent..and I’m trying to keep an open mind. Thank you so much for reading my blog :)!

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