It’s a Drug

16 Apr

When it comes to me and chocolate, it’s all or nothing. There is no middle ground. I have no self-control.

Take Lent, for example. During those 46 days, I gave up chocolate — actually, all desserts — cold turkey. One day I was eating it, and the next day I was not. During those 46 days, I kept myself sane with Chobani yogurt, LUNA bars, fruit, and the occasional nonfat decaf coffee Frappuccino. And I survived.

Then Easter happened. While I could’ve slowly added desserts back to my diet, I decided to go all out. Between my parents, Jordan and Jordan’s parents, I probably received at least two pounds of chocolate. I couldn’t just sit there and let go stale, could I? Of course not. Soo…slowly but surely, I’ve worked my way through my piles of chocolate. I’ve had a handful of Cadbury Mini Eggs with breakfast, a handful of M&Ms after lunch, and piece of chocolate or five after dinner. Have I mentioned it’s only been one week since Easter? I already feel myself hopping back on the sugar addiction train, and it’s not good.

Yesterday, Clare wrote about her struggle with recent poor eating habits, and I can completely relate. She mentioned that stress, lack of balance and dietary fads play a part in her relationship with food, and I’m the same way. For one, I’m an emotional eater. When my wedding hair didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to last Tuesday, I reached for the chocolate. When things got crazy and confusing at work last week, I went out to lunch — twice. Not to say that indulging in chocolate and going out to lunch is bad, it’s just that I seem to choose those options at the times when I am the most stressed out, when I don’t really have time to think about what, or how much, I am putting in my body.

In the week since Easter, I know I have not gained weight or completely thrown off my normally semi-healthy lifestyle. But I have felt bloated. And I have canker sores (too much sugar). And I have chocolate stains on one of my shirts.

I need to stop this all or nothing cycle. I need to stop reaching for chocolate to make myself feel better. It’s a drug. It’s not good for me. Does this mean I’m going to cut it out completely again? No. But I am going to make myself more aware of what I’m putting in my body.

I would never allow myself to binge on alcohol or smoke cigarettes, so why should I be fine with this chocolate addiction of mine? For those of us who are looking for others to hold us accountable, Clare has created a ‘Treat Your Body Well‘ group on Facebook. I must emphasize, in no way is this group a weight loss or food restriction group. I’m not trying to lose weight or restrict myself from certain foods. I just want to have a balance.

Of course, I’m only human, so it might take me a few days, or many, to find my perfect balance. Once this Easter candy’s gone, I’m not buying anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m a big fan of the 80/20 rule (80% healthy stuff, 20% not-so-healthy). I just need to make sure that my 80/20 doesn’t look like 50/50 ;).

Do you ever go through not-so-healthy phases?

How do you get back on track?


9 Responses to “It’s a Drug”

  1. notsodomesticated April 16, 2012 at 7:50 am #

    Pretty sure the majority of us have been there at some point. Personally, I would just get rid of the rest of the candy … take it to work, give it to a friend, or throw it out. If it’s candy that you really like, save a few pieces before ditching it. And then just get back to your typical, 80/20 way of eating. And don’t stress about the past … just move forward. 🙂

  2. savorlifesflavors April 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    I have a very addictive personality. I also tend to be a very self-destructive person. I will have 2 or 3 weeks when I am in total health mode and then I have a destructive day which turns into self-loathing, and then a week of bad decisions. The only way I can get back into health mode is to stop buying junk (for me it’s anything salty) and find a substitute. Make sure you have those LUNA bars and sweet alternatives on stand-by. But once in a while, have some chocolate so you don’t feel so depraved. But only bring one serving so you can’t go crazy! I am certainly no expert, and my cycle continues to haunt me, but these are some things that help me when I feel my addiction hit. 🙂

  3. Danica @ It's Progression April 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    I absolutely go through phases, and for me, it’s “out of sight out of mind” that works! If I just don’t buy another chocolate bar as soon as I eat up one and wait another week to make a batch of cookies, I tend to pace myself better. Isn’t it insane how addicting sugar gets SO quickly?!

  4. fitandfuninthird April 16, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

    I hear ya! I think it happens to us all…. what helps me is to just make one healthy choice at a time, rather than think about the big picture. If I tell myself I can’t ever have chocolate, then I’ll go crazzzyyy… but if I make small, good, choices they are more likely to stick!

  5. squigglefloey April 17, 2012 at 2:43 am #

    I’m going through a horribly not so healthy phase right now. I’m back looking for work after only being employed for a few months…and it’s only been the 2nd week and I am totally mindless/stress eating when I’m at home all day job searching.
    I try to go out and take walks, but I come back and it happens all over again. Plus, I’ve been falling asleep really late too so I tend to snack late at night as well.
    Boo! 😦

  6. di @ life of di. April 17, 2012 at 7:26 am #

    I agree with the girl that said “out of sight, out of mind”. This is my biggest struggle Emily. I did the exact same thing on Easter. No joke – all I ate on Easter was sweets. I think you’re right that it’s a slow progression. What I’ve been doing with all the Easter candy in our house (Marty’s family+my family=a ton of candy) is leaving it out to test my willpower. I knew it’d be a risk but honestly, I’ve been getting up to workout at 5AM and when I walk by the candy I just try to remember how much work I put into my morning workouts. I don’t want it to be for nothing. 😦

    • Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy April 17, 2012 at 9:16 am #

      Wow, I give you credit for doing that! I do think it’s important to test our willpower every once in a while though. And we do deserve a treat every once in a while too!

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