I haven’t worked out in over a week. It’s sort of starting to bother me. I’ve been hopeful that this cold will go away soon, but every morning when I wake up, I have a pounding sinus headache. I’m sure stress is to blame too — there’s no way that it’s speeding up the recovery process.
It just kind of hit me that my wedding is seven weeks away. And that I still have no house to live in. And that I still have a lot to do for the wedding. And no job lined up for the fall. It’s overwhelming, and thinking about everything when I’m sick only makes it worse. Do you feel more anxious when you’re sick? I always do.
Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who had my life all figured out before I graduated high school. Instead, I spent five years in college with a handful of different majors, and no clear direction in life. Now, one year out of college, I still don’t know what I want to do. I feel like I’m wasting time.
My experience in the 5th grade classroom on Friday went okay. I wasn’t feeling well and it was the kids’ last day of schoolwork (next week is field day and awards), so I spent the day helping them finish projects, take a test and turn in all of their assignments. It was stressful, but it was still much better than the time I used to spend cooped up behind a desk. The frustrating thing is, I feel like I wasted my first year out of college behind that desk. The job that was supposed to help me gain experience and build my portfolio didn’t really help me at all, and now I feel like I have to start all over again. So the question is, what do I do next? I like being in the classroom and working with kids, but do I like it enough to go back to school and earn a second Bachelor’s? That takes time and money. Or do I spend my days applying for random communication positions that I have no real interest in? Or do I pick up a retail job that pays minimum wage and pursue my dream of freelancing on the side? I just don’t know what to do.
I haven’t talked about it too much on the blog, because it’s an issue that only concerns me, but I know I can’t be the only one who has felt this way after college, or in college. I’m not the only one who doesn’t have my career path figured out. Right?
I picked a weird time to quit my job, and it’s only adding to the stress of trying to buy a house and get married. I’m sort of hoping that everything just falls into place when I’m least expecting it — isn’t that how things usually seem to work anyway?
I realize that this post is just a long rant, but it’s something that I needed to get off of my chest. There might be a few more of these as we get closer to the wedding 😉 — there are a lot of upcoming changes in my life!
Hopefully, I’ll feel better tomorrow. Exercise is my biggest stress reliever, and I’ve realized how miserable I am without it! Plus, I think I’ve watched a little too much ‘House Hunters’ and ‘My First Place’ for my own good. Fingers crossed that this is the last day that my butt is parked on the couch.
Tell me about your career path after college. Have you always known what you wanted to do?
How are you with change?