Tag Archives: chocolate

It’s a Drug

16 Apr

When it comes to me and chocolate, it’s all or nothing. There is no middle ground. I have no self-control.

Take Lent, for example. During those 46 days, I gave up chocolate — actually, all desserts — cold turkey. One day I was eating it, and the next day I was not. During those 46 days, I kept myself sane with Chobani yogurt, LUNA bars, fruit, and the occasional nonfat decaf coffee Frappuccino. And I survived.

Then Easter happened. While I could’ve slowly added desserts back to my diet, I decided to go all out. Between my parents, Jordan and Jordan’s parents, I probably received at least two pounds of chocolate. I couldn’t just sit there and let go stale, could I? Of course not. Soo…slowly but surely, I’ve worked my way through my piles of chocolate. I’ve had a handful of Cadbury Mini Eggs with breakfast, a handful of M&Ms after lunch, and piece of chocolate or five after dinner. Have I mentioned it’s only been one week since Easter? I already feel myself hopping back on the sugar addiction train, and it’s not good.

Yesterday, Clare wrote about her struggle with recent poor eating habits, and I can completely relate. She mentioned that stress, lack of balance and dietary fads play a part in her relationship with food, and I’m the same way. For one, I’m an emotional eater. When my wedding hair didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to last Tuesday, I reached for the chocolate. When things got crazy and confusing at work last week, I went out to lunch — twice. Not to say that indulging in chocolate and going out to lunch is bad, it’s just that I seem to choose those options at the times when I am the most stressed out, when I don’t really have time to think about what, or how much, I am putting in my body.

In the week since Easter, I know I have not gained weight or completely thrown off my normally semi-healthy lifestyle. But I have felt bloated. And I have canker sores (too much sugar). And I have chocolate stains on one of my shirts.

I need to stop this all or nothing cycle. I need to stop reaching for chocolate to make myself feel better. It’s a drug. It’s not good for me. Does this mean I’m going to cut it out completely again? No. But I am going to make myself more aware of what I’m putting in my body.

I would never allow myself to binge on alcohol or smoke cigarettes, so why should I be fine with this chocolate addiction of mine? For those of us who are looking for others to hold us accountable, Clare has created a ‘Treat Your Body Well‘ group on Facebook. I must emphasize, in no way is this group a weight loss or food restriction group. I’m not trying to lose weight or restrict myself from certain foods. I just want to have a balance.

Of course, I’m only human, so it might take me a few days, or many, to find my perfect balance. Once this Easter candy’s gone, I’m not buying anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m a big fan of the 80/20 rule (80% healthy stuff, 20% not-so-healthy). I just need to make sure that my 80/20 doesn’t look like 50/50 ;).

Do you ever go through not-so-healthy phases?

How do you get back on track?


Easter Treats

8 Apr

Happy Easter!

Easter 2010

If you don’t count the one day that I cheated, it has been 46 days since I’ve last eaten chocolate, ice cream, and every other type of dessert. I did it — and I’m still living and breathing :).

Surprisingly, I didn’t miss it too much. Besides the occasional after-dinner craving for a piece of chocolate, I didn’t feel too tempted. Today, I will happily pig out on Easter candy, but after that, I’m going to do my best to limit myself during the week. There’s no need for me to eat something sweet everyday. Obviously, I did fine without it.

Speaking of pigging out, it’s time for me to head to church before I open my Easter basket and end this no sweets streak. Have a very happy Easter with your family and friends :)!

Did you give anything up for Lent? Are you happy to be reunited with it today?

What are your Easter plans?


I Cheated

19 Mar

I’m confused. Is it really March? Because it feels a lot like July. If you’re from the Midwest and having unseasonably warm hot temperatures, you know what I’m talking about. I don’t mind the warm weather, it just makes me a little nervous for what’s to come this summer (considering it’s actually still winter).

The good thing about 80 degree temps is…well, there are a lot of good things. For one, I have been sporting summer clothes for the past week and a half. This means less layers and less laundry for me. Another good thing is being able to go for a walk, or just sit, in the sun. I suffer from SAD in the winter and feel a million times better when I get some sunlight in the spring. Another good thing? Being able to enjoy time with friends and family outside — and that’s exactly what I did over the weekend.

On Saturday, Jordan and I went to his house for an early Easter celebration. Because of conflicts, all of his family won’t be able to get together on the actual holiday, so we had to improvise and celebrate on St.Patrick’s Day. Since it was so nice outside, the kids were able to have an outdoor Easter egg hunt (in shorts and t-shirts, I might add), while the “grown-ups” watched and talked around a bonfire. Jordan and I are now confused as to whether we fit in with the kids or the adults, so he still participated in the egg hunt while I took pictures from the sidelines. Next year, I’m pretty sure he’ll have to stay out of it :).

After the Easter egg hunt, Jordan and I went inside for some dessert. Yes, you heard that right.

I cheated. Jordan and I talked about it, and since that was the only Easter he was going to get with his family this year, we felt that it was okay that we both cheat on our Lenten resolutions. He gave up pop, I gave up desserts, and we both caved. But just for the evening. I’m not going to eat it again until I celebrate Easter with my family, on Easter Sunday! The good news is, after I ate that plateful of desserts (plus a small piece of cake – a couple of birthdays were also celebrated that night – yes, I was a pig), I didn’t want anymore. I think I have finally broken my sugar addiction, and even when I can eat desserts again, I’m going to try my best not to eat it every night!

After celebrating with Jordan’s family, we went over to our friends’ new house to catch up over a bonfire and s’mores (but I did not partake in those). Our time was cut a little short when it started to thunderstorm, but by that time, I was exhausted and more than ready to call it a night.

I don’t like when good weekends have to end, but I suppose they all do at some point. Now that ‘The Bachelor’ is over, I have nothing something else to look forward to on Monday nights- ‘Bethenny Ever After.’ In fact, I think she’s calling my name right now :).

How’d you spend your weekend?

Have you ever cheated on anything?


Chocolate Makes Me Feel Better

10 Jan

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers on last week’s post. Over the weekend, Jordan and I drove to Michigan to see my grandpa and spend time with family. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it (I was warned that he didn’t look like himself), but it ended up being a therapeutic experience. That’s not to say it wasn’t hard to see him (I cried…a lot), but I am glad that I went. Though Jordan and I have been through a lot this year, it has made us grow much closer- a good thing that has come out of all of this.

* * * * * * * * * *

Stress does funny things to my body. I get moody, I get sluggish, and I crave chocolate. A lot of it. My appetite’s been been all over the place lately, but one thing’s for sure-my chocolate cravings still exist-as you can see by this morning’s breakfast.

I topped a 1/2 cup oatmeal, mixed with 1 cup coconut milk, with unsweetened coconut, dark chocolate, peanut butter and some Quaker Oatmeal squares.

Sort of dessert in a bowl, but exactly what I was craving. I drank a cup of coffee alongside my oatmeal, brewed in my dad’s new Keurig. Normally I’m a tea drinker, but I love how easy coffee is to brew in the Keurig- and there’s no clean-up afterwards! I think I know what’s going on our wedding registry ;).

Speaking of the wedding (and marriage), Jordan and I have officially been pre-approved for a house! We have to move fairly quickly since we’d like to start moving in, ideally, in less than six months, so tomorrow night, we’re meeting with a builder.  We’re fortunate that Indiana has a decent housing market and a lot of open land (land not in demand= reasonable prices for a new house ), so building a starter home is not out of our budget. I’m excited to talk to someone and see what our options might be!

Alright, I’m going to get back to ‘Dance Moms.’ As you can see, I have big priorities tonight ;).


This Friday’s so…Bootylicious?

22 Apr

TGIF (and Happy Earth Day and Good Friday)! Instead of sleeping in and lounging in front of the TV on this day off, I got up earlier to enjoy a repeat of Monday’s breakfast, and try out a new class the gym. Today’s class was called Cardio Jam/Turbo Kick. It was basically a kickboxing class set to music, and after a sweaty hour of kicking and punching, I was more than ready to go home and take a shower. I’m not sure this is a class that I would take regularly, but it was nice to try something new.

*      *      *

Yesterday, the wonderful Lauren awarded me with the Bootylicious Award.

Doesn’t this remind you of the Destiny’s Child song? They used to play that song over and over on the radio. Ah, high school memories. I never was a fan of that song, but I am appreciative of the award. Thank you, Lauren :).

Here are the rules:

1. Post this award with the picture, and name whoever tagged you in it


3. Award 7 others and tell them you did so!


1. Name three things that are lying right next to you

2. Name two foods you cannot live without

3. Name one thing you did today

Let’s get started, shall we?

1. Three things that are lying next to me:

– My phone. It’s an ENV2. I can’t give in to the $30 smart phone data plan yet, don’t judge ;).

– My cup of water (for the record, it’s sitting not lying). I drink sooo much water. The other day I counted, and my water intake totaled 15 cups. Granted, this includes during and after workouts, but sometimes I think I have a water addiction. The more I drink, the more I crave…

– My stuffed animals. I still live at home, therefore, I still have my childhood stuffed animals on my bed. Please tell me I’m not the only 20-something that has yet to get rid of them :)?

2. Name two foods you cannot live without

– Chocolate. If you have ever read my blog, you could’ve guessed this one yourself. If you’re new to my blog, you will learn soon enough. It is a mood lifter, after all :).

– Oatmeal.

Mmm..pumpkin oatmeal

I could eat oatmeal for every meal. Although I eat it a lot for breakfat, I also tend to crave it for lunch and dinner. Did I just say that I crave oatmeal? Yeah, I’m 80 years old cool like that 🙂

3. Name one thing you did today

Since I already told you what I did this morning, I will tell you one thing that I am going to do this evening. My honors society is having an initiation ceremony this evening.  I am already an inducted officer, so I get to read a few lines and light a candle (sidenote: I can never seem to get those lighters to work; this should be interesting). It also gives me an excuse to wear a dress, and eat dinner downtown :).

There you have it, “my stuff” for the day. I will pass this award on to seven lovely, or should I say “bootylicious,” bloggers:

Grace @ yourdailygrace

Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries

Michelle @ Living, Learning, Earning

Caitlin @ Diary of a Scatterbrain

Jess @ A Taste of Confidence

Hollie @ Lolzthatswim(andrun)

Nicole @ Of Cookies & Carrots

And now I am off to do homework before tonight’s event :).

Happy Friday!

Dessert in a bowl

18 Apr

On occasion, my mom will make a dessert that is often requested of her, which contains a graham cracker crumb crust, condensed milk, chocolate chips and coconut, all baked into bars. In fact, she made these bars on Friday, and now they are all gone.

Although the bars aren’t breakfast food, they are the kind of thing you just seem to crave in the morning anyway. I may or may not have snacked on one while making my actual breakfast on both Saturday and Sunday. So today, when I woke up and the bars were gone, I thought why not recreate them in breakfast form? Then I did :).

Dessert in a bowl

1/2 cup oats

1 cup coconut milk


1 tbsp. crunchy almond butter

Shredded coconut

Dark chocolate chips

Quaker Oatmeal Squares

I eyeballed it with most of the toppings. Who wants to waste a perfectly clean measuring cup when you can pour chocolate chips straight from the bag, anyway :)? The result was a chocolaty, crunchy, gooey concoction, reminiscent of the bars my mom makes.

I ate it all, and then I scraped the bowl like I do when I’m eating ice cream. I could have gone as far as to lick the bowl, but for the record, I did not :).

I will be spending the rest of my day on a crowded college campus, so this was just what I needed this dreary Monday morning. It’s almost hard to believe that I only have six days of class left before finals!

Happy Monday!

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Have you ever eaten dessert for breakfast?

I want it to be over

8 Mar

I rolled out of bed 15 minutes later than I wanted to this morning. I spent too much time eating my waffles, and not enough time on the “getting ready ” process. I was only able to dry my hair partially, which resulted in leaving the house with wet hair.  I took a new route to work, only to find out that the exit I needed was under construction. Because of this, I had to drive halfway around the city, arriving to work 20 minutes late. I called my boss to tell her where I was, only to find out that our office phone had been disconnected. Turns out, I was calling the wrong number. I’ve consumed a copious amount of chocolate, and my nails are chewed down to…nothing. Three things are standing between me and spring break. Two midterms. And anxiety.

Just the thought of taking a test turns me into a nervous wreck. I bite my nails (gross, I know), I can’t sit still, I crave chocolate, my heart beats faster, and I feel like pulling out my hair.

Even the thought of studying scares me. Overwhelms me. I’d rather write a paper. Heck, I would write three papers. But make me bring my #2 pencil, and fill out those little bubbles on the scantron, and my mind goes blank. I know it’s a mental game that my mind plays, but I cannot stand it. I should be studying right now. I need to study right now.  But I don’t even know where to start. I just want it to be over.

Only 67 more days.

Until then, bring on the chocolate.